HA! HA! HA! GUFFAW SNICKER

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INNOVATIVE WAXING

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HERE IS LUMP, A DIFFERENT NAME FOR A DIFFERENT DOG..

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CAT AND MOUSE

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TRIBAL RITUAL

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KARATE IS BETTER THAN SUOMO

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HOME MADE ROOF RACK, I WONDER IF THEY HAVE THESE AT HOME DEPOT?

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WHY SOME PEOPLE SHOULD NOT GO TO PROTESTS

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WEDDING VOMIT

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REDNECK RIDING MOWER

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HARVEY NEEDS TO TALK TO HIS EMPLOYEE

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ONLY THE DOG REALLY KNOWS FOR SURE.....

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THEY DONT MAKE CARS LIKE THEY USED TO...

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On their last night of a camping trip this two doctors are bragging about their accomplishments. One said "I am best surgeon around. To prove it I will climb this tree and perform a tonsillectomy on the owl above us." So he climbs the tree with trusty pocket knife and performs the operation. Owl is still sleeping. The other doctor replied, "I believe I am better than you. Loan me your pocket knife and I will castrate the same owl". Oh no, that is much too sensitive operation. The owl will awaken and scratch your eyes out. Never-the-less doctor #2 climbs the tree and performs an uneventful castration. The next morning the doctors go back to the city. Two weeks later a young owl landed on the same branch. The wise old owl who received the operations spoke out: I wouldn't go to sleep on that branch if I were you. Why not, says the young owl. Well, I went to sleep there two weeks ago and ever since I have not been able to hoot worth a puck or puck worth a hoot.

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TWO GOLFERS

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course,
became confused as to where he was on the course.

Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him.

He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew that
hole he was playing.

She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the
6th hole."

He thanked her and went back to his golf.

On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with
the same request.

She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on
the 13th hole."

Once again he thanked her and returned to his play. He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady.

The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help.
I understand that you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales, also. What do you sell?"

She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh."

"No, I won't", he responded.

"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."

With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath.

She said, "See I knew you would laugh."


"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you."

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SPORTS COMMENTATORS

"Sure, there have been deaths in boxing, but none of them serious." (Alan Minter)

"Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Darryl Gibson comes inside of him."(New Zealand rugby commentator Murray Mexted)

"This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother." (Ted Walsh horse racing commentator)

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body." (Winston Bennett)

"The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it, which is identical." (Murray Walker - F1 racing commentator)

"I would not say that David Ginola is the best left winger in the Premiership, but there are none better." (Ron Atkinson - soccer coach)

"Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew." (Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race1977)

"Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field" (Metro Radio)

"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seems to hang in the air for even longer." (David Acfield)

"What will you do when you leave football, Jack. Will you stay in football?" (Stuart Hall - Radio 5 live)

"And there goes Juantorena down the back straight, opening his legs and showing his class." (David Coleman at the Montreal Olympics)

"One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.....Oh my God! What have I just said?!!!" (US PGA Commentator)

"For those of you who are watching in black and white, the blue is behind the brown." (Ted Lowe, Snooker commentator)

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GOLFERS WEDDING


The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side. She said, 'What are your golf clubs doing here?' He looked her right in the eye and said, 'This isn't going to take all day, is it?'